Three, oh, it's the magic number,
Yeah it is, it's the magic number
Somewhere in that ancient mystic trinity
You get three
It's the magic number
Well that’s three weeks left and over the weekend I realized I’ve been having a bit of a Louis Theroux. For those unfamiliar with the exploits of our Louis see – (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Theroux - or have a wee look at this extract from his show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z97gBdWjLN0)
Basically Louis Theroux spends time with bad, mad and sad people across the globe using his own distinctive documentary format. In the past he’s spent time with both black and white supremacists, observed gambling addicts in the casinos of Las Vegas and endured Jimmy Savile (again any American’s reading this won’t be aware of Jimmy Savile, but basically the guy is a nut job)
So Louis Theroux spends a period of time with these different groups and by the half way stage of the show all their strange and crazy habits/believes don’t seem quite as crazy anymore. He begins to see things from their point of view, he may not agree with everything they do or say; and obviously has to draw the line of total emersion somewhere, but on some level he sees where they’re coming from.
Anyway, this weekend I was driving in what can only be classed as a near biblical downpour. We could only see the road 4 inches in-front of the car; the spray from the other vehicles was kicking back and creating a wall of water. At this point, on my left hand side, I see a Dodge Ram Truck gliding past us. The truck is elevated to such an extend that spray from other cars fails to even dampen it’s number plate (it must also be added that it has warning lights fitted to it’s roof to ensure that the moon is aware of it’s presence and avoids it during it’s orbital rotation) I then caught myself saying “well heck brother, I gotta get maself one of those” and that’s when it hit me…..i’m currently experiencing the same thing Theroux experiences at the mid-point of his show.
All the things I regarded as strange and bafflingly foreign before embarking on this trip now seem somewhat normal.
I can see why it’s near imperative to own a truck the size of Belgium; even if it produces twice said countries yearly CO2 emissions on an average morning commute! When I order a meal I demand it come with enough complimentary appetizers to feed Sub-Saharan Africa. The fact that you get cheese on everything (even coffee) is marvelous and brings out the flavor of the food/beverage. Texans are right; why on earth should you drink water when you can drink beer instead?! Salads are for girls…..while Soft-ball isn’t! Jam is jelly, toilets are restrooms, rubbish is trash and Toby Keith is a very talented singer/poet!!
However despite this new found level of enlightenment, like Louis, I can’t quite allow myself to embracing all social/cultural nuances, in my case this line is drawn at Baseball.
On Saturday we attend the Minute Maid Stadium to watch the ‘Houston Astros’ take on the ‘Something Somewhere Diamond Backs’. Baseball is a sport I’ve never really had much time for, how is it possible that a sport that requires you to run when both batting and fielding is populated by ‘athletes’ whose body shape would make the average Sumo-wrestler blush (belly swing). However the obesity of those performing on-field was not what I found most alarming…instead it was the soul steeling commercialization of a once golden sport that left me feeling slightly cold.
I love attending sporting events. I love getting so worked-up and enthralled by the drama unfolding before you that you forget to breathe. I was at ‘Parkhead’ two seasons ago to watch Celtic beat Man Utd 1-0 (despite Man Utd getting awarded a disgraceful injury time penalty), to experience what has to be one of the greatest sporting atmosphere the world has ever witnessed (now this is an atmosphere) But what we experienced on Saturday night was simply a three hour advert.
Wherever you sat, in the admittedly luxurious stadium, you were bombarded with sales pitches rather than baseball pitches. Every aspect of the night was geared towards extracting as much cash as possible from those attending the game….to such an extent that the game it self seemed more of a sideshow. The Astros lost 11-2 or something but people didn’t seem too bothered, everyone had had a few beers and a forest of nachos and seemed ok with the fact that their team had been utterly mauled. I never thought I’d say it, but I missed the aggression of football/soccer.
I missed the wee NED trying to get on to the pitch to set fire to the referee after a bad decision; I missed the big fat guy sitting behind me hurling ‘tactical advice’ at our players despite the fact the only thing he’d be qualified to give anyone any-sort of advice on is where to find a 24hr Kebab shop or just how painful a colonoscopy is. But more than anything, I missed the sense that for those in the stadium this result would determine whether or not their entire week was ruined. I’ve often criticized football/soccer clubs back home for not providing a better service/product for fans but having witnessed the other extreme I now pray they never go down that path.
Anyway I’ve now entered my final week with the finance department. Last week I spent a great deal of time studying various company annual reports and this gave me a wonderful feel for the sort of language required when compiling official documents. The Economics course I attend is basically made up of millions of essays written under exam conditions….and to be honest I’m not very good at them. However, having spent the time immersing myself in the terms and tones of these reports, I hope it’s something I can adopt in an attempt to change the way I answer questions and move away from the more ‘creative’ answers I’ve given in the past (one of the last essays I wrote used an analogy between the economic policies of the European Union and an electric can opener).
Thus far I’ve really found my time in the finance section incredibly useful despite the fact that of all the departments I’ve worked in it’s the one I’ve probably been least ale to get stuck in and give a hand with. To really be of any use you have to be pretty familiar with the systems and procedures used and so instead this has been a more observational placement….and yet the one where I’ve probably picked up the most.
Anyway I hope everyone is good and thanks to all those who’ve left wee comments on my previous posts….it’s much appreciated!
I’ll update again soon.
Speak then
David
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